Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Monday, July 22, 2013
"IT'S JUST A WEEK, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK"
This is what I hear every time I say that I had a bad day or a bad week. And yes I know its only a bad day or its only a bad week. But that one day... and that one week.. is what lead to my unhealthy life style. I was eating everthing in sight for 12 years of my life with no regard as to what it does to my body and the next thing I knew I looked like a balloon!!! so yes I am hard on myself when I have a bad week, but it really scares me that I can't do it. it scares me that my struggles will forever be my struggles. Is this a bad thing?? NO I guess its not.. I guess everyone struggles.. I know this life style is not a temporay fix and will forever be a journey.. I know tons of people that work on their health each and every day and I am no exception. I understand that. This is something that I work every day to except...
I think part of my issue is that I follow tons of healthy fit beautiful looking females on my instagram page and I forever look at myself and compare my journey to theirs. they didnt have this surgery and they did this all on their own and they look fabulous.. so if they can do it why cant I?? why are they so much more different then I am??? why do they have six packs and I don't?? welp its because they have determination and will power.. two things i have yet to secure.. although looking and these fitness pages inspire me to continue, I think in a way they hinder my success becuase I keep comparing myself to them.. and I AM NOT THEM!! everyone has their own struggles in life and although my eating habits are mine those beautiful woman may have their own issues that i dont know about..
I know I can do this and I hope one day to post positive thoughts and know that this process is just part of my journey...
I think part of my issue is that I follow tons of healthy fit beautiful looking females on my instagram page and I forever look at myself and compare my journey to theirs. they didnt have this surgery and they did this all on their own and they look fabulous.. so if they can do it why cant I?? why are they so much more different then I am??? why do they have six packs and I don't?? welp its because they have determination and will power.. two things i have yet to secure.. although looking and these fitness pages inspire me to continue, I think in a way they hinder my success becuase I keep comparing myself to them.. and I AM NOT THEM!! everyone has their own struggles in life and although my eating habits are mine those beautiful woman may have their own issues that i dont know about..
I know I can do this and I hope one day to post positive thoughts and know that this process is just part of my journey...
Saturday, July 13, 2013
15 Months Post Op/ weight 156.4
I am still sitting at 160.. I have not lost any weight since January 2013, and am still wearing a size 10 have not gone down in clothes size or scale #. At this point I am happy with where I am and what I have achieved since surgery.. Although I have difficult days when I look in the mirror my over all journey has really put a smile on my face and I am still beyond happy that I made the decision that I did.
I got to the gym regularly to just maintain where I am and still hope to find the strength to get my eating habits 100% on track.. I have them about 80% on track most of the time but my goal through the year is to really focus and continue to improve so by the end of my 2nd year I can happily announce that I am 100% on track with my food..
My husband is in love with me more and more each day. He is happy with my new found energy and attitude about my self. Although the jealousy is starting to kick in a little he understands and knows my love for him is still just as strong as when i was heavy if not more.
My kids love the new me and are so proud to show me off to their friends. There friends always tell them how pretty their mother is. The little things like this are what brighten my gloomy days.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
13 months Post Op
I am nearing my 13 month post op date... As I previously noted I hadnt lost any weight since I had my gal bladder taken out. My scale finally moved down a teee bit the other day and I was supper excited that it did. I weighed in at 155. Last night I stepped on the scale again and was at 156 lol so I guess I better stop stepping on that damn thing because it just frusterates me!!
I have been doing very well with excersising and eating better.. During the day I eat very well. I seem to snack or eat unhealthy more towards the evening hours and weekends. I am getting myself to workout at least 4 days a week. I feel better about myself. Although the changes are not physical I am mentally still loosing!!!
I went to my one year check up with the surgeon and forgot to tell you how that went.
He pretty much said I am doing a great job and at this stage I should only plan on loosing maybe 5 more pounds in the next 6 months... I mean what if i work my ass off can I loose more.. Well I guess I could but like my surgeon says now its time for me to be like everyone else and work for the weight loss... ... really is that the surgeons feedback for me?? geeze I mean cuz this past year I didnt do shit to work for it! is that what he is saying.. LOL just kidding I know what he means.. It did come off pretty easy this last year and I enjoyed that. and now I do have to work on it.. Its a change of life and now I need to focus on keeping up this life style for ever...
I have been doing very well with excersising and eating better.. During the day I eat very well. I seem to snack or eat unhealthy more towards the evening hours and weekends. I am getting myself to workout at least 4 days a week. I feel better about myself. Although the changes are not physical I am mentally still loosing!!!
I went to my one year check up with the surgeon and forgot to tell you how that went.
He pretty much said I am doing a great job and at this stage I should only plan on loosing maybe 5 more pounds in the next 6 months... I mean what if i work my ass off can I loose more.. Well I guess I could but like my surgeon says now its time for me to be like everyone else and work for the weight loss... ... really is that the surgeons feedback for me?? geeze I mean cuz this past year I didnt do shit to work for it! is that what he is saying.. LOL just kidding I know what he means.. It did come off pretty easy this last year and I enjoyed that. and now I do have to work on it.. Its a change of life and now I need to focus on keeping up this life style for ever...
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
The one year mark!!!
I can't belive tomorrow marks one year since I decided to start my journey!!! It's incredible how fast this year has gone...
To review what I have gone through this year
Until about the 4 month mark I was pretty much in the regret stage.. I wasnt able to eat much and the mental challenge was way harder then I had anticipated. after that time frame things began to get eaiser.
After that time period I struggled with some odd pains in my belly which the doctors kept telling me it was gas.. Umm come to find out it wasnt.. I had gal stones and finally had my gal bladder removed on1/21/13..
Since then... I have not lost any more weight.. on that date I weighed in at 160.. My weight has been going from 158-160...and here we are 3 months later. It has truley been a struggle for me mentally not to see the scale move. I became so use to it moving downwards that this kind of made me give up. I forgot why i started this journey in the first place.. I had to come to terms that the whole reason I made the decision to take this journey was to improve my life style to change my life style and to learn different ways.
In the last two month my eating habits have just gone back to the way they use to be. Tons of junk food and no good nutritious foods. i feel like my stomach can handle more food which scares me too.
But recently this month I got back on track.. I started to eat healthier and work out more. This has helped motivate me in tons of ways. although I still havent seen that scale move and although its still a very tough thing for me to understand I know I can do this. I can remain healthy and I can be okay with the 160 weight. I have come so far to stop now. I remember when people would ask me what my ideal goal weight would be I told them 160 and now I am sitting here at 160 and im mad.. why?? I am not sure but I shouldnt be.. I should be happy that I lost about 87 pounds in one year!! Thats an amazing #...
My goals now are to just maintain where I am and to learn how to accept that I am not perfect, i dont have that washboard stomach.. I am a mother of 4 beautfiul children and a wife to a husband that loves me more then anything, just the way I am... If I do succesffully lose more weight that is great but I will stop dwelling on the fact that I havent. I will continue to eat as clean and healthy as possible, I will continue to work out as much as possible... and I will continue to stay positive!!! Life is to short to dwell on the things you can't change.. or to focus to much on the things that may be possible...
I will be taking my measurements tomorrow since that is officially my anniversary.. and taking some photos of then and now.. and I will post those hopefully next week.
This journey is just begining.. And I am so excited that I received the opportunity to change my life!!!!
To review what I have gone through this year
Until about the 4 month mark I was pretty much in the regret stage.. I wasnt able to eat much and the mental challenge was way harder then I had anticipated. after that time frame things began to get eaiser.
After that time period I struggled with some odd pains in my belly which the doctors kept telling me it was gas.. Umm come to find out it wasnt.. I had gal stones and finally had my gal bladder removed on1/21/13..
Since then... I have not lost any more weight.. on that date I weighed in at 160.. My weight has been going from 158-160...and here we are 3 months later. It has truley been a struggle for me mentally not to see the scale move. I became so use to it moving downwards that this kind of made me give up. I forgot why i started this journey in the first place.. I had to come to terms that the whole reason I made the decision to take this journey was to improve my life style to change my life style and to learn different ways.
In the last two month my eating habits have just gone back to the way they use to be. Tons of junk food and no good nutritious foods. i feel like my stomach can handle more food which scares me too.
But recently this month I got back on track.. I started to eat healthier and work out more. This has helped motivate me in tons of ways. although I still havent seen that scale move and although its still a very tough thing for me to understand I know I can do this. I can remain healthy and I can be okay with the 160 weight. I have come so far to stop now. I remember when people would ask me what my ideal goal weight would be I told them 160 and now I am sitting here at 160 and im mad.. why?? I am not sure but I shouldnt be.. I should be happy that I lost about 87 pounds in one year!! Thats an amazing #...
My goals now are to just maintain where I am and to learn how to accept that I am not perfect, i dont have that washboard stomach.. I am a mother of 4 beautfiul children and a wife to a husband that loves me more then anything, just the way I am... If I do succesffully lose more weight that is great but I will stop dwelling on the fact that I havent. I will continue to eat as clean and healthy as possible, I will continue to work out as much as possible... and I will continue to stay positive!!! Life is to short to dwell on the things you can't change.. or to focus to much on the things that may be possible...
I will be taking my measurements tomorrow since that is officially my anniversary.. and taking some photos of then and now.. and I will post those hopefully next week.
This journey is just begining.. And I am so excited that I received the opportunity to change my life!!!!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
A pound or 2 is nothing to you but to me it's EVERYTHING
So I have to say that I bought a new scale- a digital one two weekends ago. I was use to weighing myself on my moms scale which was always off by two pounds lol so i knew how to read it. But I hated always going to her house to weigh in on monday evenings, so I went and purchased a new one for me to have at my house... Well I purchased it on Saturday and then weighed in like normal on Monday evening, and to my surprise it said i weighed 160!!! Well the shocking part is that the last week I had weighed in at 158 so this would be a 2 pound jump from the previous week!! Since I have had the surgery I have always stepped on the scale and it either stayed the same or went down, not one time in the last 10 months has the scale actually moved UP and it was just a tad bit heartbreaking to see..
I have not been doing well on my diet latley.. I admit it, i have not been eating right like I should. I have been eating lots of sweets that I shouldnt be eating. I havent been going to the gym or working out like I once was doing... and stepping on that scale just proved that I need to get back on track.. it proved life isnt going to be easy for me to keep this weight off.. I know what I have to do its just a matter of getting up and doing it! why is this process so hard?? why cant it just come so easy like it does those skinny girls in the magazines.. I know im not perfect but it feels really good to be called thin these days and it feels really good to get compliments from people who havent seen you in awhile and I am so scared that I may not be able to maintain this figure for the long run.
Yes I am venting here and I know what needs to be done and am whilling to do it.. just need my inner self to join my heart in this fight for skinniness... I know I can do it!!!
FYI I stepped on the scale this morning and unfortunatly I still weighed in at 160.. I guess now I am just hoping that I am experiencing a stall and the scale will stay the same.. As long as it doesnt go up!!!
I have not been doing well on my diet latley.. I admit it, i have not been eating right like I should. I have been eating lots of sweets that I shouldnt be eating. I havent been going to the gym or working out like I once was doing... and stepping on that scale just proved that I need to get back on track.. it proved life isnt going to be easy for me to keep this weight off.. I know what I have to do its just a matter of getting up and doing it! why is this process so hard?? why cant it just come so easy like it does those skinny girls in the magazines.. I know im not perfect but it feels really good to be called thin these days and it feels really good to get compliments from people who havent seen you in awhile and I am so scared that I may not be able to maintain this figure for the long run.
Yes I am venting here and I know what needs to be done and am whilling to do it.. just need my inner self to join my heart in this fight for skinniness... I know I can do it!!!
FYI I stepped on the scale this morning and unfortunatly I still weighed in at 160.. I guess now I am just hoping that I am experiencing a stall and the scale will stay the same.. As long as it doesnt go up!!!
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